The most fulfilling and solid part of my life is my marriage. I have known my husband for over 22 years. We were best friends, then dated and then fell deeply in love with each other. But time and love don't make a marriage successful or beautiful.
Over the years I have observed many relationships including mine and have found some important things that are strikingly different in relationships that are beautiful versus the others.
Firstly, every relationship has the potential to be a beautiful one.
According to me what makes a relationship successful in the real sense are two things - Daily habits of the couple and a growth mindset.
Daily habits that cement and express the love that you feel for each other.
No 1 on the list has to be " Communication". Express the love you feel for each other, communicate what you appreciate about each other, communicate the highlights about each others day, get your partner involved in what is happening with you when you are away from each other at work or at play, communicate your needs and expectations. Do this daily if possible. it could be a thirty minute chat or a two hour long conversation. The length doesn't matter.
Daily gestures expressing love. Say " I love you often" Verbalize your appreciation for each other.
Physical contact - Hug often. Kiss even more often.
Book or schedule exclusive couple time away from distractions, away from responsibilities and away from your adorable kids or extended family. Go for dates often.
Discuss your vision for your lives as a unit. If you know each other well, you need to get creative and find interesting things to talk about to each other when you are alone with your partner. Talking about your vision for the future will bring you closer and strengthen the connection you have with your partner. Talk about your desires, individual and as a family.
Growth mindset
Growth mindset means believing that you are open to changing and improving yourself so that you can show up as the best version of yourself in your relationship.
It means learning to love and respect yourself. It means continuously learning to better your self as a partner, parent or employee.
It means taking responsibility for your own happiness. Do the things that you love to do. Don't wait for your partner to make you happy or plan that holiday or take you camping. You take the initiative and plan for yourself.
It means growing together by communicating what you have learnt with each other. Stay open to your partners learning. When you share with your partner what you have learnt and that you have benefited from, then your partner also benefits from it.
Focus on what you like about your partner. What you pay attention to, grows. Pay attention to all the qualities you admire in your partner.
You all deserve to have a beautiful relationship with your partner. A loving respectful relationship can make life wonderful and an unhappy one can make life difficult so invest in your relationship by first investing in yourself and then practicing some daily habits that will directly contribute to making your relationship successful.
You can reach me at nikky@happydayscoaching.com.