In my last post I talked about how loving yourself and owning who you are improves the quality of your life and relationships considerably.
Today I want to share with you what I have learnt about "Happiness".
As I observe my young children, I know that we are all born feeling happy. As kids, our dominant vibration is that of happiness and love. If momentarily as kids we put our focus on what is unwanted like lets say an early bed time, we would throw a tantrum, get it out of our system and upon being distracted, we would return to our happy, loving state of being.
As we grew older there were more things that came into our experience that were unwanted or unpleasant like not feeling accepted, not performing as well as we were expected to, not being invited to a friends party, losing a competitive race at school and so on.
Now instead of understanding and learning how happiness is activated within us, we came to believe that happiness is what you feel when you are accepted, when your grades are good, when you are appreciated and when you win.
And that is why I feel so passionately about teaching people to activate happiness deliberately on their own irrespective of their life's circumstances.
Because that is what will liberate you from this cycle of waiting for things to turn out great to make you happy. From the wanting of your desires to be manifested for you to finally feel happy. For wanting to get married, have more money, have a new car, get a job or get pregnant to then finally feel happy.
I have too, spent so much time and precious years of my life waiting for life to turn out the way I wanted it to , to finally feel happiness. Well, that never happens. When you get whatever you want, the happiness that you will feel is very short lived because you then move on to the next thing that you desire for your life.
So then what is the big secret to feeling happiness. How can we live a happy life ? Who lives a happy life?
The wealthy ? The married with kids ? The corporate big wigs ? The travelers ? The well settled retirees?
Who?
The answer is in our daily habits that determine our state of being.
Lets talk about some of these habits that can transform your life inside out.
Focus - What are you habitually focused on in your daily life ? Train your self to focus on what is pleasing in your life, in your surroundings, at your job and in your relationships. Remember every time you feel the opposite of happiness, its because you have been for some time focusing on whats not working , what is unpleasant, stressful and annoying in your life. Get in the habit of observing and noticing whats wonderful in your life. Even if what you can come up with are the simple things in life like the delicious coffee you can afford from your favorite cafe, or the love you might be receiving from friends or that your health is fine. Its about finding what makes you happy and then adding power to it by focusing on it, by making it a big deal, by really juicing it for all the delicious details of how it adds value to your life.
Being mindful - Being mindful is simply slowing down your life, being present in the now - in your observations and in your thoughts, observing your breath, not being judgemental of yourself and meditating. Now you don't have to do all of these, even if you start by doing one of these you will feel lighter and happier. With time you can add more to your daily practice.
What I have observed in my life is that when I started to get mindful, I was able to notice the very small things in my life that gave me happiness and the more I noticed these things the happier I became. Like the warm sun falling on my face, like the waves that crashed on the beach, like the silly giggles of my kids, like the bright yellow colour of my bed spread, like the purple flowers on my dresser, like my warm brown eyes looking back at me from the mirror ..... you get the idea...right ?
Gratitude - I highly recommend starting a gratitude journal to list down daily the things that you are grateful for. And doing it daily really cements the fact that you have a lot to be grateful for. This will contribute immensely to your happiness. Nothing has to change in your life for you to be able to find things to be grateful for. I started off writing every night and now I just say it out to myself several times a day.
Love yourself - When you feel you are awesome, when you know you are loved and when you value and respect yourself then that contributes to your happiness. The combination of the right focus and love for yourself alone can help you activate happiness for yourself.
In my life, I have had my share of ups and downs, in relationships, finances and health but what kept me going and what helped me to minimize or get rid of any suffering was these habits, they are more like thought habits actually but they will serve you well and help you activate happiness by yourself.
Please share your thoughts in the comments below or write to me at nikky@happydayscoaching.com.
I want to be of service to you so reach out to me without any hesitation.